The Day I Became Magically Invisible at a Fancy Spa ✨

Hello magical friends!

Birthday Spa Adventure: When Magic Meets Midlife

This week I treated myself to a birthday excursion to the fancy spa at the Montage, a high-end local hotel. It's a big splurge that I've indulged in a couple of times, and it's usually worth every penny because for the cost of the massage, you're welcome to use all the spa facilities for the entire day—making it feel like a whole vacation.

I had a friend visiting who really wanted to try this place, so twist my arm, I figured why not? We woke up at the crack of dawn and headed in for our massages.

Mine was going wonderfully until my therapist got to my neck and shoulders. "What secrets are you hiding in those shoulders?" he asked.

To which I obviously should have responded, "Magic is real, and I've just come into my powers and have a mission to complete that I can't tell anyone about."

Actually, not really. But it's what I should have said. Instead, I launched into a somewhat whiny diatribe about the perils of being sandwich generation filler and having so many people in my life that I'm constantly worried about.

Bradley, bless him, took it upon himself to vanquish said stress and free my shoulders from my ears. With an admonishment about working on the couch too much (I may or may not be writing this newsletter from said couch), he went to work. Hard. There was significant crunching, a few "speed bumps," and clicks as he worked from the back of my neck down to my mid-shoulder blades.

Afterwards, I felt... funny. Not exactly in pain, but dizzy. Really, really, REALLY dizzy. This had never happened after a massage before, and as an already anxious person, I decided not to Google because whatever worst-case scenario a search engine could serve up was inevitably what I'd decide was happening to me. I hadn't eaten breakfast and always need to hydrate extra diligently due to autoimmune issues, so I thought I'd flop into a lounge chair and do just that.

Except... weekends hit harder at this spa. We were lucky to score poolside seats at all! Regular hotel guests had claimed all the front-row ocean-facing seats I usually look forward to.

It was at this point that I believe my magical powers started to manifest.

The Great Invisibility Experiment

It's hard to say whether it was magic or midlife, but I swear I became invisible. So much so that my lunch order never arrived. Despite asking for a menu four times over three hours to place another order, I couldn't get one. Wobbling over to the server station didn't help—I was told, with a bit of an eye roll, to go sit down again because "our server would be right by."

He did walk right by, looked at and through me and my friend as we waved frantically and called out, "Hey! Hello! Excuse me!"

Finally, after two and a half hours of this, the young man in the seat next to mine took pity on us. He raised a single finger, snapped, and three breathless attendants rushed right over, clipboards at the ready. "I'd like you to take their order, please," he said, pointing at us. 

What a mensch. 

Our server's eyes went wide then. He looked shocked and a bit suspicious, as if we were a pair of mangy crows, who'd just suddenly materialized out of the ether.

He did eventually deliver our drinks, and I'm happy to report that my dizziness did dissipate, and the views and spa amenities were just as glorious as they usually are.  But the spa made me feel like an "other" this time around, and I'm not sure I loved that experience.

This being said, being invisible isn't all bad. I've found that invisibility makes it much easier to work/read/eavesdrop/spy on others in public without any fear of being disturbed or even observed. If you've watched the recent season of Matlock with Kathy Bates, you can see how she uses this to her advantage. If you haven't seen this show, I highly recommend it—particularly if you, like me, are a midlifer who's been feeling magically invisible of late.